Everything is fed except for you,
which begs the questions:
“Drive thru or Uber Eats?
Did I leave drinks in the fridge at the hotel, or do I need to buy more?”
Horse show days, Clinic days… you know the ones.
Up before dawn, feeding, cleaning stalls, opening the show office, editing footage from the day before, trying to find a good cup of coffee and where the heck can I find the schedule for the day….?
Whether you’re showing, working, photographing, announcing, managing the office, or simply trying to keep the wheels turning,
You know what these mornings look like.
But more important,
you also know what the end of the day looks like.
And sometimes, that’s harder.
Leaving the event, your chores are done, the office is closed.
You’re half wishing someone had invited you to dinner,
but also, you’re like,
“Ugh, I’m too tired to sit at a table full of people,
but it would’ve been nice had someone asked,”
because sometimes,
it’s lonely in the quiet.
And no one ever
talks about
the quiet.
Once the food and beverage situation is handled, what’s on TV?
Do I have email to answer for work – or actual work to do?
Ugh. Screw it, it’s late, I’m tired – I’m actually on vacation here.
It can wait. Or maybe it can’t.
Now I’m keyed up, can’t sleep.
Thinking about how my run today was not great and here I sit in my room alone…
Or I didn’t get the photo my customer needed, and they’re mad…
Or the trainer’s wife who was annoyed by the schedule.
She had to be talked off the ledge, explaining how 2 arenas, 7 judges, 3 tractors, cattle usage, scribes, staff, and not showing all night contribute to all of that.
Crack another White Claw, get my mind right. Take a shower, call home if there is a home to call. Try to relax.
Wish this wasn’t such a lonely world, and question my choices for being involved at all.
The next morning after a fitful night,
feeding my horse, or opening the office,
or getting equipment ready,
I run into one person,
who says good morning,
recognizes me and drips that tiny bit of approval into my day.
Relieving the lonely in the quiet.
If this journal resonated with you…
These quiet conversations are exactly why I created Finding Center Retreats.
A place where women in the Western industry can step away from the schedule,
the responsibilities, and the noise for a weekend of genuine connection.
I’d love to have you join us.
I enjoy reading your journals so much. They are my quiet after the end of the day or the pick me up that I need to keep going.
Jen,
Thank you so much for taking the time to leave this note. Knowing these journals can become part of someone’s quiet at the end of the day means more than I can say. I’m so grateful you’re here, and I hope you’ll keep reading as Jennifer’s Journal grows.
💛 Jennifer